Friday, August 21, 2015

Sunday, March 8, 2015

at least i didn't start an entirely new one

it's been quite some time since i've posted. huh. i didn't even post photos from the rest of the vegas/beyonce trip. i'm clearly dedicated to my lack of dedication. let's try this again.

got to see a lot of shows in 2014. i saw beyonce twice, jay z, arcade fire, nkotb, usher, kendrick lamar twice, kelis, bjork, sigor ros. i'm sure there's more i'm blanking on.

i have to say, the last several years of my life have been exciting and fun and full of bellyaching laughter and lots of jack in the box tacos. i've been trying so desperately to hold onto my youth in any way possible because i dread what's to be the next phase of my life. motherhood. i keep hearing that once i have a kid, i will no longer seek the kind of fun i used to have but it won't matter bc the fun i have with my child will far more significant and meaningful than anything else i've experienced thus far... i have to be honest and say that sounds terrible. my body will be ravaged, my nipples will start looking like stalagmites, i will have aged years overnight, i won't be able to sleep, i have to eat healthy. terrible.

my dad was telling us that his biggest regret was not having played with us enough as kids. he said at the time he thought it was boring and he was still pursuing his own idea of fun aka partying. which i don't blame him for at all because kids already suck and i was even shittier than your average kid. i wouldn't play with me either.

my dad viewed kids the same way i do now, just fixated way too hard on parenthood being the end of the past, instead of looking at it as the beginning of the future. he partied a lot as his last hurrah while we were still kids and by the time he was over is own thing, we had grown up. of course by that time, we didn't want to hang out with him bc we were too cool. and now at his age, he's realized he has all this time now to do what he wants and in retrospect, he wish he had known that back then and he would have been less selfish. it was a surprise hearing him say that with such guilt bc i never once thought he was selfish. ever. ever. ever. ever. even though i was oblivious to his self-proclaimed absence, i'm glad he told me bc it's so applicable to me now.

apart from the kids, another reason why i'm so aggressive and pushy about doing "young things" is because kids or not, my body is already changing. for the worse. i don't think i'm out of control or that my partying is of any concern, but i try to go hard and stock up my weekends because i really don't know when the last time i'll ever be wearing obnoxious heels, i don't know when my last impromptu trip will be, or the last time i'll be going out for a drunken 3 am taco run. i don't know when i'll have my last double western cheeseburger. i don't even have kids yet and i've already stopped eating those. it's so bad that sometimes i think about how sad i am that i don't crave one and even as i'm thinking of it, i still don't want it. just three years ago, if i even thought about a western bacon cheeseburger, i would go out of my way to get one. and even worse, i reduced myself from a double to a regular western bacon cheeseburger.

i've also really prided myself for my high tolerance for shitty foods. and now, i can't eat fast food without considering how to schedule my shits so simon can't hear them. you know it's been months since i've had 7-11 nachos. that's so fucking sad to me. i guess on the positive-not-positive side, my fun is naturally coming to an end bc my body can't support it anymore, which i'll ungracefully accept.

also, i'm an actress now.


@ the forum, arcade fire and the unicorns // reflecktor

@ the rose bowl, beyonce & jay z // on the run

 

Monday, January 13, 2014

Thursday, January 9, 2014

the random things: 
 birthday things: happy birthday jj and brie!


 things i consider art: 



 mom things:



Monday, December 30, 2013

big stupid ass angela.


it was dennis' birthday so i got dennus a dozen krispy cremes. then stuff. whatever. this day happened. i'm sure some good quotes came of it but i don't remember them. had i posted this earlier, i probably would have remembered. but i am lazy. lazy fat cow. my new years goal should be to update more often to make my posts more current. i wonder if i can even catch up in 2014. 

other goals:
- be more of a lady
- make more money
- visit another country
- trap beyonce into hanging out with me
- be less shitty at things

Friday, December 20, 2013

beyonce

beyonce, you are so everything to me right now.


i just ordered chinese food off my ipad and the food is going to be here in 50 minutes. are you fucking kidding me? i used my fingers on a touch pad device where i touched the items i wanted and my device told some guy three miles away to make me cuisine of ANOTHER CONTINENT. then someone is going to get in their motorized moving MACHINE that will bring the food to me like a servant and i will eat it. what the hell. isn't it crazy how far we've come? i know my great great grandmother would be shocked. to find out i pay to enjoy chinese food.